seventy four
my name is peyton.
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Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.


(via officialharvard)


Think about how fast he snitched tho

(Source: vinegod, via westbor0baptistchurch)

Straight White Boy Problem #207


i went out to get ice cream with a couple of my friends and my friend bought us all ice cream and she got a huge cup of ice cream for one of my bros and i watched her put a dime in the cup and she covered it up with ice cream. i was like “what” but she told me to be quiet and she gave the cup to my friend and he ate the whole cup of ice cream. he ate a dime. how….do you not know….that you ate a dime




i’m on to u 

(via officialharvard)


long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about

(Source: flapwagon, via pizza)

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